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This is so crazy and I have no one to talk to about this so I am putting it out in writing. Ever since you walked back into my life after 20+ years, I can't believe that I have grown to love you even more so than the last time we saw each other. Who would've thought that this so ed boyhood crush on this long haired young lady would develop into something more after so many years apart and going different paths and directions, only to have our cross paths once more. You have grown into the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on. When we've been able to be together, I feel so comfortable with you and as if time didn't separate us at all. It feels good, feels right. I get the sense you may feel the same way, but because of my circumstances, it would be a line not to cross, and I can appreciate that. I am so happy you said yes to hang out a few times and so happy when you asked me to be with you. I have a new bounce in my step, a renewed passion in life, a smile on my face, a better outlook, hope, and determination. All this, because of seeing you again and being with you. Is this normal? Being 42 and mature over the years, can a man feel this way again? I think of you every single day and cannot get you out of my mind. I sometimes wonder if I had gone a different direction and waited for you, not realizing what I was waiting for to begin with, that perhaps we'd both be in perfect situations to come together. I did wait for a good part of my adult life to find "the one" and began a life of my own and am happy for the most part, but still, I knew, I just knew I was missing some piece, something that needed to be filled and then you walked back in, it was as if the veil had been lifted and my heart told me, this was it. I just wish life wasn't so damn complicated and sometimes life plays such cruel jokes. I want you and want to be with you but knowing that I can't is one of the most frustrating things any person could go through. I yearn to know everything about you. For now, I will enjoy your company, your friendship, and I hope to be a part of your life but frustrated I can't do more. Your friend, always.
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