.. Bitter, self-absorbed loser seeks same Don't let the headline scare you off. I still have most of my , so that's a plus, isn't it? Still reading? We may be MFEO after all. So, howdy. Let me tell you a little bit about myself, and you can see whatcha think. I'm short, fat, bald, kinda stupid, arrogant, conceited, and clingy. I'm broke ALL the time n I have small feet. And OMG, I am horny, and at all of the most inappropriate times. Like that time at my sister-in- 's wedding reception. What a mess THAT was. Ummm, what else do ya wanna know? Yeah, I'm married, 7th times, I think. 8 times, if you include the weekend in Vegas with my second cousin. And I have a frickin' houseful of whiny . Some of them are even mine. At least I think they are. But don't let my marital or fertility status stop you - sure ain't stopping me. I spend most of my time in front of ESPN, but don't let that fool you into thinking I've got a decent record. I'm currently stealing it from a neighbor, cuz he's even stupider than I am. The only time I'll get up off the couch is to scrounge new batteries in the remote or to pee and me some more of them great tasting Cheetos. Where'd I get those batteries? Well, you didn't need them for YOUR 'remote', did you? I didn't think so. In the interest of full disclosure, with respect to that peeing thing, it's only fair to tell you that I leave the seat up all the time. Don't you come crabbin' to me at 2 in the AM to tell me you fell in the toilet cuz you weren't paying attention. Jeez, use the light switch, lady. You HAVE been warned. But it ain't just about me, is it? You wanna know about my ride, so that you can hang out the and hoot at your girlfriends while we're cruising at night. I'm currently driving my brother-in- 's 1983 Celica, cuz my own '74 Camaro, the classiest wheels a man can own, is in the shop. You're probably wondering what I do in my spare time. Hope this doesn't make you feel all inferior or anything, but I'm a gifted . My current passion is triathlons. I've included a of me entering the water for the swim. You don't have to say anything, I know you're impressed by my Olympic swimmer bod. I hear that a lot. But it's winter, and I'm not in the water that much. So between football , hockey , basketball , and the occasional college girl's volleyball match, here I am, ready and waiting for the right girl. Are you that girl? The type who thinks fishnet pantyhose under her Daisy Dukes is as classy a look as I do? Who gets a little bit of a thrill digging her panties out from between her tight little cheeks? Who regularly knocks her beer bottle off the bar when she stands up and leans over? Because if you are, you're gonna like me. You're gonna like me a lot, I tell ya. Why, you ask? Yup, you already know, you read between the lines, didn't you? I'm a hopeless romantic. And just HOW can you resist that? I know, I know, most chicks can't. So get in line. I've already started to see replies, and I haven't even hit the Send button yet. But maybe you're a bit more on the conservative side. The type of gal who insists on wearing a to . Who won't fondle the bananas and the oranges in the supermarket at the same time. Who blushes when then the Snap-On Tool calendar arrives at work. So mebbe y'all need to know more about me than the subtle hints I've dropped along the way. I'm a simple guy. That's what my mother says. Although she adds '-minded', never understood that, but that's not the only thing I didn't catch onto. I like long walks on the beach. And I always have my metal detector with me. I like cuddling. Whether it's , , or , doesn't much matter, as long as they've had a bath after we've been hunting, I'm fond of all of them. You're welcome to join us. Plenty of room since my brother in shot the arms off the on a dare. I like to laugh. Oh, do I like to laugh! I could watch The Cable Guy all night long. Humor doesn't get more sophisticated than that. And I am gonna live life to the fullest, . To the fullest. Yup, just as soon as they, well, I guess we knows each beautiful older ladies looking sex dating Tampa other well enough now fer me to tell you a little secret. I'm gonna be blunt. That line about the life of leisure, sitting on the couch watching ESPN and all? A lie, I tell ya, a lie. I have a job, and it's good honest work that any Americans should be proud to have. If you don't think washing dishes at the local is good enough for you, then you'd better just take your high-faluting ways n be off. Go shopping at Wal- with your friends or something. Superficial is one thing, being a total snob is another altogether. So until I reconcile my current situation, that one-nighter you were hoping for might be some time in coming. I'm still looking for a - , though, while I try to avoid and in the shower. So, whaddaya say? Take a chance on love. Please write. Just one request. I've included a of myself; only fair that you do the same. And you needn't go to all the trouble to put a shirt on first, by the way. A true gentleman wouldn't be demanding in that way. Oh, and one more thing. Please use short words. Please, I beg you. Do it for the . - P.S. Now that you're done reading this, get me another beer from the frig, wouldja? And stop in front of the TV. 'S on, dammit.
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Married and Seeking? Married mature attractive, educated professional gentleman seeks married mature gentlewoman for loving, long-term discreet, intimate and monogamous relationship. Life is simply too short not to have the fulfillment and happiness that comes uniquely with sexual/sensual intimacy. I have not had that in some time now and miss it tremendously. If you agree and you are perhaps in a similar situation, please reply with something about you, including why you are responding to my post. Please, I am NOT looking for a one time encounter or a short term "fling." Nor am I looking to leave my relationship or looking for someone wanting to leave theirs. I know it's a long shot trying to find just the right one with an ad of this kind but 'hope does spring eternal' doesn't it? So... Please be somewhat attractive, somewhat fit (a few extra pounds are never a problem) somewhat educated and most of all be a giving and kind human being with a big heart. Serious replies only. And please respond with the word HAPPINESS in the subject of your reply so that I can weed out the false and computer-generated replies. Beautiful older ladies looking nsa Atlanta Georgia
I think you should break up for a while. Not because she's still a minor and you're not (I think the statutory rape laws don't apply for a gap that small) but because you're clearly on Beautiful ladies seeking friendship Lafayette different pages. You want to get laid like right now, and she wants to stick to an artificial timetable that mean you have waited a total of 32 months to get into her pants. Possibly this is a bullshit test she is putting you through, and she cave in a few months, but you should not count on that, nor should you pressure her to give it up. Neither of you is exactly right or wrong I disagree with you both! but you don't agree. Also, you're away at college (psychologiy, even if you're not out of town) and meeting new people, while she's stuck with the same acquaintances in high school for the next couple of years. Given that you've been "on and off" for the past eight months, the chances of your staying steadily all about her for the next two years looks minimal. Break up and let BOTH of you look to other people. If you really each other, you well come back together eventually. But in the meantime, you won't be wasting years chafing at artificially created restrictions, and both of you can have the opportunity to learn and grow. Lakita

walking friend .. w4m hi, I'm looking for a guy that wants to walk for exercise. brisk walking.. most of my friends work normal business hours so would be nice to meet someone that lives in the Eagan, AV, Rosemount area and is available to walk at various hours... mornings...afternoons..evenings? let's keep it friendly...low key... we can chat and get to know each other but for now just want low key, no complications.... want to walk off the winter blues? let's do it! by walking I don't mean strolling...lol... keep a good pace... thanks! Women searching hot sex sugar babies
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MY SEXUAL FRIEND...(Lets Get Personal!)